Pre-engagement counseling gives you a structured way to talk through the things that matter most before making a lifelong commitment. Explore your expectations, differences, strengths, and concerns so you can move forward with greater clarity and groundedness.
Understand your relationship more deeply.
Get clear on compatibility, values, and long-term fit through insights from over 30,000 therapy sessions.
Many of Debbie Cherry’s clients are high-achieving professionals — executives, entrepreneurs, founders, business owners, attorneys, and physicians — who want the same clarity and rigor in their relationship that they bring to everything else in their lives.
After 18 years of marriage myself and two decades of counseling couples, I’ve seen what actually predicts whether a couple thrives. I work with younger couples, dating and cohabitating couples, and partners who are seriously considering marriage and want to better understand what they’re building together.
Doubt before engagement doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It usually means you’re paying attention. I help couples turn uncertainty into clarity, so that whatever you decide, you decide it together, with your eyes open.
Weekend pre-engagement counseling is also available for couples who need more flexibility to make these important conversations a priority. If you’re asking “are we ready?” or “is this the right person, right time?” — book a free 15-minute introductory call to see how pre-engagement counseling can help you find your answer.
We started off with her uncertain if we, boyfriend and girlfriend, could make it to the next day and now we KNOW we are life partners who will one day have a beautiful family.
– ENGAGED COUPLE IN SAN DIEGO, CA
It’s easy to agree when life is going smoothly. The bigger question is how well you understand each other when it comes to the decisions that will shape your life together. Learn the skills to talk openly about marriage, money, children, family, careers, sex, lifestyle, responsibilities, values, and the future you each imagine.
Pre-engagement counseling and coaching helps you look beneath the surface of your relationship and understand how to build a life together. Schedule a time to connect for free and see how to walk into your engagement knowing exactly why it’s going to work, not just hoping it will.
I know that we now have the tools for the marriage we truly desire!
– ENGAGED COUPLE IN AUSTIN, TX
Make your decision based on a deeper understanding of each other—not assumptions about what marriage will be like. Take a proactive approach to creating a healthy relationship with effective communication strategies.
Pre-engagement counseling for dating couples gives you the opportunity to look closely at your relationship before the momentum of engagement, wedding planning, or outside expectations takes over. Together, you can explore the questions, differences, strengths, and expectations that will matter most in a fulfilling marriage.
My role isn’t to tell you whether you should get married. It’s to help you understand your relationship clearly enough to make that decision for yourselves. You don’t have to wait until you’re engaged to start building a solid foundation for a healthy marriage.
Pre-Engagement & Relationship Coaching Available Worldwide
“WE NOW FEEL SAFE TO SHARE ANYTHING WITH EACH OTHER.”
– YOUNG COHABITATING COUPLE IN CALIFORNIA
Get the relationship tools no one teaches you. Build a strong foundation for a lasting, fulfilling partnership you both love.
Invest in Your Future Together.
Married. Engaged. Dating. Committed. Straight. Bi. Gay. Neurodivergent. Polyamorous.
“WE HAVE HAD MORE AWARENESS & CHANGE FROM THIS PROCESS & TOOLS
THAN ANY OTHER THERAPY WE’VE EVER DONE.”
– COUPLE MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS
(with expert pre engagement counseling and coaching.)
DEBBIE CHERRY, LMFT
Pre-engagement counseling is couples counseling for partners who are seriously considering marriage and want to understand their relationship more clearly before getting engaged. The process helps couples explore compatibility, shared values, relationship strengths, growth areas, communication, conflict, family dynamics, finances, and their vision for the future.
The goal is to help you make a more informed decision about marriage while also strengthening the relationship skills that will matter if you decide to move forward.
You can see client success stories, reviews and results here.
Pre-engagement counseling focuses on the important topics that tend to shape married life. Depending on the couple, we may discuss communication, conflict resolution, finances and financial planning, children, parenting, careers, sex and intimacy, family dynamics, lifestyle, commitment, responsibilities, emotional needs, and long-term goals.
We also look at how you function together: how you make decisions, respond to stress, repair after conflict, support each other, and handle differences when you do not immediately agree.
You might consider pre marriage relationship counseling if you notice recurring patterns of conflict, communication breakdowns, emotional distancing, or unresolved issues that lead to ongoing distress. Other signs include feelings of disconnection, a lack of intimacy, or when attempts at resolving issues on your own have not been successful. Counseling can help provide clarity, facilitate better understanding, and develop strategies to address these challenges. Before relationship problems become bigger, watch for these 4 often-overlooked signs that it may be time for marriage help.
My approach helps couples stop repeating the same patterns and start creating real connection, so they can talk without fighting, listen without shutting down, and feel close again. If you would like to see some specific examples of how I help clients, grab the Connected Communication Toolkit here.
Pre-engagement counseling is generally for couples who are still deciding whether engagement and marriage are the right next step. There is often more emphasis on compatibility, relationship dynamics, shared values, concerns, and long-term fit.
Premarital counseling or pre-marital counseling usually begins after a couple has made the decision to marry. The focus shifts toward preparing for marriage, strengthening communication skills, developing conflict resolution skills, and creating a solid foundation for married life.
No. Many couples begin pre-engagement counseling because the relationship is going well and they want to take a proactive approach before making a major commitment.
Counseling can help you identify relationship strengths, uncover assumptions you may not realize you are making, and have deeper conversations about the future. Addressing important topics early can also make it easier to navigate challenges later.
You can book a quick consultation here, and take the 1st step toward a deeper understanding & an action plan.
For couples struggling with relationship issues, professionals such as licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFTs) specializing in couples therapy are typically the best choices. These marriage therapist experts are trained specifically to navigate relationship dynamics and provide strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts. It’s advisable to review a counselor’s credentials, experience, and therapeutic approach to ensure they are a good fit for your unique situation.
The therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of success in therapy, even more impactful than the specific method or approach used. In couples therapy, this bond is especially important because BOTH partners need to feel heard, respected, and emotionally safe. A strong therapeutic relationship helps create trust, reduces defensiveness, and allows for honest, vulnerable conversations that lead to meaningful change. When both partners feel that the marriage therapist understands their dynamic without taking sides, it builds momentum and makes it easier to break old patterns and rebuild connection. Years of experience, couples expertise, specific specialties, and client reviews are helpful to research. Feel free to schedule a free 15-minute phone conversation to see if I am a fit to help you reach your relationship goals.
Dating couples may seek guidance when communication has become difficult, emotional intimacy has declined, relationship conflicts keep repeating, physical intimacy feels strained, trust has been damaged, or major life transitions are creating stress. You do not have to wait until the relationship is in crisis for therapy to help. Couples’ success stories, reviews and results can be found here.
Getting started is simple. I offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can talk about what’s been coming up in your relationship, your goals, and whether we’re a good fit. If it feels right, we’ll schedule your first session and begin working on the specific tools and insights that can help you reconnect, communicate better, and feel like teammates again. Book your free consultation here and let’s take the first step together.
The duration of relationship counseling can depend on the specific challenges a couple faces. Many couples see progress within 10 to 12 sessions; however, some relationships may benefit from a shorter, more intensive approach, while others might require several months of ongoing therapy. On average, couples attend therapy twice a month for 6 months, depending on how deep the patterns run and how consistently you’re able to practice the tools we cover.
Most marriage therapy sessions are 50 minutes long. This time frame allows us to dive into meaningful conversations, identify key patterns, and give you clear action steps without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. After 20+ years of working with couples, I’ve found that 50 minutes strikes the perfect balance between insight and implementation.
Ultimately, the length is determined by the goals of counseling and the pace at which both partners work through their issues. We’ll tailor the pace to fit your relationship, goals, and schedule. To see what’s possible with couples therapy, check out the couples’ success stories here.
Relationship therapy and coaching sessions range from $175 to $350, depending on the service, session length, and individual circumstances. The best way to understand the options available to you, the recommended service, and the exact rate is to schedule a consultation.
Because relationship therapy is often not considered medically necessary by insurance companies, coverage varies significantly. The best way to understand what may be possible in your situation is to schedule a consultation.
Therapy sessions are confidential, and what you share won’t be disclosed without your written consent. There are a few legal exceptions to confidentiality, such as if there’s a risk of serious harm to you or others which will be addressed fully in the informed consent. If you’re using insurance, it’s important to know that most insurance companies require a mental health diagnosis for reimbursement. That diagnosis becomes part of your medical record, which some couples prefer to avoid. Because of this, many couples choose to pay privately to maintain more privacy and avoid labeling their relationship or one partner with a clinical diagnosis. If you’re unsure what’s right for you, I’m happy to talk through the options on a free consultation call.
In your first marriage therapy session, we’ll explore your relationship history, current dynamics, and what brought you in. You’ll both have space to share your perspectives while I begin identifying patterns that are keeping you stuck. Together, we’ll clarify your goals and introduce practical, research-backed tools to reduce conflict, improve communication, and rebuild emotional connection.
Therapy sessions typically focus on your current relationship, relationship dynamics, communication patterns, relationship conflicts, and the goals you want to work toward together. Your couples therapist may help you identify unhelpful relationship patterns, practice communication skills, navigate conflict, and develop a treatment plan based on your relationship needs and goals.
Together, we’ll explore patterns, unpack deeper emotions, and practice tools that lead to better connection. Each session is customized to meet your unique needs while keeping momentum toward the relationship you both want. In our sessions, you won’t just vent. We’ll identify the patterns that keep you stuck and start shifting them with tools you can use right away. I’ll help you talk through tough topics without blowing up or shutting down, so you can feel more like partners again instead of opponents. Expect each session to be a mix of guided conversation, practical communication tools, and real-time coaching. We’ll work toward helping you both feel seen, heard, and supported.
Yes! In every session, you’ll receive practical, research-backed tools to strengthen your connection and communication. These aren’t just “talk about your feelings” ideas – they’re proven strategies tailored to what actually works in real relationships. Here’s a quick peek at what you’ll get:
These tools are designed to help you move from stuck and stressed to seen, supported, and secure. If you would like to see some sample couples therapy exercises, grab the Connected Communication Toolkit here.
This is a common reason couples seek engagement counseling. When one partner feels ready and the other has concerns or uncertainty, pushing for a quick answer usually does not create greater confidence.
Pre-engagement counseling gives both partners room to understand what is behind the difference in readiness. Sometimes the concern is about the relationship itself. Other times it involves family history, previous relationships, timing, finances, career decisions, fear of divorce, or uncertainty about what marriage will change.
Understanding the source of the hesitation can help both partners decide on the right next step.
Start with a free 15-minute consultation to get clarity and support tailored to your relationship goals.
Yes. Expert couples for dating couples, can help partners strengthen emotional intimacy, improve physical intimacy, talk more openly about sexual health and intimacy, and develop a deeper understanding of each other’s needs. Therapy sessions may also focus on expressing emotions, improving communication skills, and creating greater intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
You can see more about my background and approach here.
Many of the couples I work with are not in crisis. They are proactive, high-achieving, and just feeling disconnected, stuck in the same arguments, or wanting to grow together more intentionally. Marriage therapy isn’t only about fixing what’s broken; it’s also about leveraging your strengths and building habits that help you stay close, even during stressful times. Think of it as relationship coaching for your emotional bond. The earlier you start, the easier it is to shift patterns and create real connection. Book a free 15-minute consultation to get clarity and support tailored to your relationship goals.
Yes! I offer evening and weekend appointments, including Saturdays and Sundays to fit into your full lives. Whether you’re juggling demanding careers, parenting duties, or both, my flexible schedule is designed to meet couples where they are, so getting support doesn’t feel like just another task.
Many couples have unpredictable schedules, and therapy can still work for you. I offer flexible virtual sessions, including evenings and weekends, to fit your life as it changes. You don’t need to lock into the same time every week. Clients have access to a client portal and can request appointments, schedule and reschedule on their own as needed.
I see couples online through a HIPAA-secure video call platform for relationship therapy in California, Texas and Florida. Couples can join from their phone, tablet or computer, even from separate locations when necessary. I do see clients worldwide for relationship coaching virtually as well.
99% of the couples that I work with report that they have seen significant improvement in their relationship communication and connection. Marriage therapy in general has a success rate of around 70%, according to data from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).
Success often depends on a few key factors:
See what’s possible with marriage therapy, and read about the couples’ success stories here.
The most effective relationship counseling for dating couples combines emotional safety with actionable tools rooted in evidence-based models such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or the Gottman Method. These frameworks help couples improve communication, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution. Marriage therapists use structured sessions, homework assignments, and interactive exercises to engage both partners. The success of any approach also depends on the therapist’s skill and the couple’s willingness to actively participate in the therapeutic process.
Yes, online counseling can be just as effective as in-person therapy. Research shows that virtual sessions, when led by a trained couples therapist using evidence-based approaches, can improve communication, reduce conflict, and increase emotional connection. For many busy couples, the convenience of meeting from home actually makes it easier to show up consistently. Many couples feel more comfortable doing therapy from home than in a clinical office. Being in your own space lowers defenses, builds rapport faster, and helps you open up more easily, so you get results sooner.
For busy couples seeking marriage counseling Miami, online sessions can make it easier to meet around work, parenting, and travel. Couples looking for marriage counseling San Francisco may appreciate being able to connect without navigating long commutes or coordinating trips across the Bay Area. I also provide marriage counseling in Austin for couples who want practical, relationship-focused support from the convenience of home.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation if you want to talk more about working together.
Pre-engagement and dating couples counseling can help you make that decision with a deeper understanding of your relationship, but the counselor does not make the decision for you.
My role is to help you look carefully at your relationship strengths, areas of concern, communication patterns, shared values, differences, and expectations for marriage. That gives you more useful information and a clearer road map for deciding what you want your future together to look like.
If you’re both even a little bit open to exploring what’s possible, that’s enough to begin. You don’t have to know the outcome, just whether it’s worth one real, honest conversation. I offer a free 15-minute consultation if you want to feel it out together.
Couples often work on effective communication, listening, expressing needs, emotional regulation, decision-making, conflict resolution, and repairing after disagreements.
We can also identify patterns that make conversations harder and practice proven strategies for talking about sensitive subjects without becoming defensive, shutting down, or escalating the conflict. These skills can support a healthier relationship now and a stronger future together.
Success depends on the commitment and active participation of both partners and the therapeutic relationship with the therapist. While therapy cannot guarantee a saved relationship, it often provides the tools and insights needed to navigate challenges, rebuild trust, and create the kind of future you want together. Read about the couples’ success stories here, and see what’s possible with marriage therapy.
Yes. Compatibility involves much more than whether you enjoy being together or have similar interests. Pre-engagement counseling can help you understand how your personalities, values, goals, family dynamics, expectations, communication styles, and approaches to conflict fit together over time.
You do not need identical answers to every question. What matters is understanding the differences that exist and how effectively the two of you can discuss, negotiate, and adapt around them.
Need momentum now? Let’s start with a free 15-minute call to see if we’re a good fit.
The process is different for every couple. Some couples come in with a few specific questions or concerns and need only a small number of sessions. Others want a more comprehensive process that explores their relationship dynamics, communication, family backgrounds, finances, intimacy, future plans, and readiness for marriage.
We can decide together what would be most useful based on your relationship, concerns, and goals rather than following a rigid program.
For many couples, yes. Once engagement and wedding planning begin, there can be considerable momentum around moving forward. Family expectations, financial decisions, wedding plans, and deadlines can make it harder to create space for deeper questions.
Beginning the counseling process earlier gives you time to explore your relationship and future without the pressure of an approaching wedding date. It can also help you enter an engagement with more confidence, a shared vision, and a stronger foundation for a fulfilling marriage.
You’re welcome to start with a free 15-minute consultation, and I’ll help you figure out a path forward that feels supportive and doable for both of you.
The communication skills, conflict resolution skills, deeper understanding, and relationship awareness you develop before engagement can continue to benefit you long after the decision itself.
Couples who understand their patterns, know how to discuss difficult topics, and have a shared vision for their life together begin marriage with a stronger foundation and practical skills they can continue using as their relationship grows.
See what’s possible with marriage therapy, and read about the couples’ success stories here.
